I am married for 3 yrs plus now, and I've been working for nearly 1/2 year now, My husband is taking all my salary since then, and he only gives me little money for my food. Be calm, respectful, and seek counselling if you need to. Deborah Demander Reno (author) from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD on August 26, 2018: Gazelle, Copyright PUNCH. Saturday PUNCH asked a cross-section of Nigerians if they thought that such a gesture would attract divine blessings for married women. RELATED: 10 Things Every Husband Should be Doing for His Wife. Personally I would not subscribe to this because I have my pride as a man; I would rather give mine to my wife than my wife giving me hers. If you work hard, you should be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor. His two children had also been chipping in whenever they can. I am a helpmate who should support with my efforts and not by giving up all of my earnings. Not time for me. On the other hand, a wife can sponsor her husband if she is working in a qualified profession like a teacher, doctor, an engineer or equivalent. We have been married 5 years and she has no job. No, a woman is not obligated to give anything of her salary to her husband. However, without his wife assisting him in his business, he would have found it tough. I don’t believe there’s any blessing attached to a wife giving her husband her salaries. Forbidding her from that which will lead to hell fire. I shouldn’t be robbed of my financial strength – Ijeoma Thomas-Odia. God knows your husband better than you; ask Him to reveal your husband's heart. Should a wife give her husband a whipping? We can help one another. However, I have seen instances where such is being done and it has helped the family. Here are their responses. Rules are more lenient if the wife is earning more than AED 10,000. Complaining About Spouses to Parents and Managing Marital Finances Sincerely, it sounds like ‘toxic masculinity’ to me. No, a woman is not obligated to give anything of her salary to her husband. I do believe there is a blessing when giving in love, whether it’s money, time, effort, etc. Also, should the husband give the wife spending money or any regular allowance? He should teach her and order her to forbid the evil and enjoy the good. The man has the responsibility to provide and should not demand; the wife should do this. Not all women are saints nor all men are crooks….Certainly the poor women who doesnt have job or cant earn enough / has kid etc, I would say the law should give her more than 50% but if the women is qualified, can easily find a job or intentionally enjoy life @ husband… The same goes for her husband as well. It is easy for resentment to build, hence it is important for both of you to be on the same page, based on a correct Islamic understanding of marriage. She tell me to get out all the time. Admiration is the fuel a man needs to get going. Wife's share in Husband's salary: It's 30 per cent - Maintenance not dependent on wife's earnings, rules HC The wife is entitled to 1/3rd of husband's gross income as maintenance if there is no other dependent member, according to a ruling by the Delhi high court. Thank your husband for the things he does well and tactfully present your concerns to him—even when you feel hurt, angry, or disappointed. A Christian wife should be her husband’s friend. A responsible man does not look at his wife’s salary; rather, he would give her allowances to maintain herself apart from her own salary. But say i dont give here enought. As a matter of fact, I think it is barbaric and in this time and age, no responsible man will allow such. So, to answer your question, yes. In some cases, the wife has to ask, remind or grovel for money every month to take care of household or personal expenses. A man who relies on his spouse’s earnings is lazy and  and has given over his authority to his wife. If a wife is employed as the husband’s worker then she is entitled to be paid salary, but if they are bonded by genuine love then I don’t think any salary should be paid to her. "Well my salary is $45,000 plus a $5,000 bonus, and my husband is an entrepreneur, so to be … RELATED: 10 Things Every Husband Should be Doing for His Wife. But we never can get ahead. We both earn the same. The holy book made us to know that a woman is a helpmate and as such should keep her salary to take care of herself and some other needs of the family. Please clear the air with your husband. We recently separated due to her infidelity, and she is living in our house with our 1 child and her jobless, disabled mother. Or should this be based on mutual understanding? There is no form of blessing attached to it if a woman decides to give her salaries to her husband because this can make her impecunious and always waiting for her husband to give her money, even before she can get something as little as a sanitary towel. Same for the husband. However, I will just quickly add that as we see in Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3, the man has a corresponding responsibility to unconditionally love his wife; this creates balance on both ends. The man is the head of the house so a woman should respect and obey her husband, yes, but not to the extent of giving her salary to him. Disputes arise over the salary of the employed wife. Whatever salary a woman receives is her property, which she may dispose of however she wants, and she does not have to give any of it to her husband or to contribute to household expenses with her husband. The high court, however, awarded Rs 16,000 per month in 2015 and increased it to Rs 23,000 in 2016 as the husband’s salary went up from Rs 63,842 to Rs 95,527. While she doesn’t need to join in on all of her husband’s activities, a Christian wife should enjoy spending as much as time as possible with her spouse.Even though we don’t get to go as often as we would like, I love going fly-fishing with my husband. 2. Putting ourselves temporarily aside, answering this question, and backing it with action can only strengthen your marriage. If I don’t tell him about my salary, it is my choice. Once you explain what is bothering you, be sure to give your husband time to do the same. How To Please Your Husband In Marriage: How A Wife Should Treat Her Husband. Occasionally when I don't. All rights reserved. There is no ‘special’ divine blessing attached to this practice. I am only son of my parents and she is also only issue of her parents. Between us, we have over $85,000 in student loans, $30,000 in credit card debt, $40,000 debt on my M-Class Benz, and my wife has a major spending problem. My husband of 15-plus years told me about his cuck/hot-wife fantasy a few years ago. Keep all name-calling and belittling terms out of the discussion. The Bible teaches in 1 Peter 3:1 that: “In the same way, you wives be submissive to your own husbands…” Ephesians 5:22-23 commands this submission ‘in all things and as unto the lord’. I am a helpmate to him, so I shouldn’t submit my salary to him. The list I'm offering next is meant to be a springboard. The list I'm offering next is meant to be a springboard. This is a big no for me. Ultimately, let patience and love guide your words. If a wife chooses to give her salary to her husband it’s okay, but she should not be forced to do it. Unquestionably, husbands are responsible and obligated by the Sharee‘ah to cover various expenses of the marital life, whether or not the salary is sufficient. She mistakenly assumed that she could manipulate him to give more by withdrawing her appreciation. Share this portal with your friends and family & beloved ones. If wife should give all her account details to her husband, isn't it fair for her to ask her husband's account and salary details? Putting ourselves temporarily aside, answering this question, and backing it with action can only strengthen your marriage. DO YOU NEED THE SERVICE OF A PROFESSIONAL FOREX, BITCOIN and BINARY TRADER TO HELP YOU TRADE YOUR ACCOUNTS FOR WEEKLY 20% PROFIT?....Click here for details. Money matters can lead to divorce if unaddressed. Thus, it is very clear that if the husband makes payment of commission or salary, etc. It is a rare blend of love, intimacy, care and flesh.This relation is like a crystal pot which is visually very pleasing, … I started my life all over the day he went to prison. So! It is crucial for both the spouses not only to be in the loop when it comes to finances, but also be equal beneficiaries of wealth. If he is doing something wrong, like not providing for her or their family such as in the case of a lazy husband who sits at home all day, then she can go to his authority in the Church(the Pastor) and have the Pastor deal with her husband’s sin. The problem is, your wife can't see any of it because she won't see you or communicate with you. ” A woman money/asset is hers and her husband”s is ther's. " ... Should A Husband Pay His Wife A Salary Every … Men should work and stand tall on our own and leave a woman’s money for her. Is the husband in a bad financial state? To give your wife security means that you give her confidence in the future.. A guy emailed me a couple weeks ago with a heartbreaking story. It should be noted that even after the JEWS established this rule, if a woman wishes, she has the right to tell her husband, "I will support myself and I will keep my earnings." So we have a president and a first lady. Has there been a recent big household expense? Now as i have to look after her expenses and also my children i can hardly give 10% of my earnings to my parents. A considerate wife would do her part to reduce expenses if her husband is going through a rough financial patch, and potentially even help to contribute to the household. The earlier u know this the healthier ur union. Firstly: In the answer to question no. I work hard to earn a living alongside bearing children; I shouldn’t be robbed of my financial strength because I want to remain in marriage. These Scriptures make it clear that a wife should submit voluntarily to her husband’s sensitive and loving leadership. Issues of money and marriage are often fraught with emotion and mismatched expectations. How… It’s got to stop. If she likes let her volunteer to contribute in house rent or any huge bill. You could. 3054, we quoted sufficient evidence from the Quran and Sunnah, and scholarly consensus, to prove that it is obligatory for the husband to spend on his wife, according to his means, and that he does not have the right to make her pay for her own expenses, even if she is rich, except with her agreement. However, this is not obligatory upon her. A man shouldn’t be interested in his wife’s salary. A man should never be interested in his wife’s salary, it portrays him as a weakling. She must have a minimum salary of AED 5,000. I counseled a woman who became confused when, after criticizing her husband, he did not try harder to earn appreciation from her. Husband is bound to give maintenance to separated wife, says Supreme Court - It is the sacrosanct duty of husband to provide financial support to separated wife even if he is required to earn money with physical labour with "no escape route", the Supreme Court has said while holding that maintenance must be enough for her to lead a dignified life. The Bible says wives should submit themselves to their husbands not submit their money. There is nowhere in the Bible that it is stipulated that a woman should hand over her earnings to her husband and there are no special blessings attached to it either. As a gesture of goodwill, it would be praiseworthy for a working wife to contribute to the finances of her household, but that is up to her. But my wife gives all her salary to her parents as she need not to give any money to run our family according to Islam. Section 113 of the Women’s Charter empowers the court to order a man to pay maintenance to his wife or former wife, either during matrimonial proceedings, or after a divorce, judicial separation, or nullity of marriagehas been finalised. If a woman wants to submit her salary, she should do it willingly and not out of the fear of not being blessed. After God placed the first man, Adam, in the garden of Eden, he declared, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Gen. 2:18). Bringing Barakah Into Your Wealth and Life, Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. A man doesn’t have a right over his wife’s salary – Abimbola Omotola. I deal with diebaties. Answer 2) Wife owns her own salary and she has the right to spend it as she likes, fair enough she earns she spends. Praise be to Allah. I make really good money (nearly $120,000 in 2011). Forbidding her from that which will lead to hell fire. Narrated Abu Hurairah: Allah’s Messenger (upon him be blessings and peace) said, “The best alms is that which you give when you are rich, and you should start first to support your dependants.” [Bukhari]. I would want my wife to willingly submit to me in every area. She has a 30 year old daughter with two kids live with use she dont charge here. If its normal for husband to give his wife part of his income, the it should be normal for the wife to even give more, shebi they say what a man can do, a woman can do better. google_ad_width = 300; He scolds me everytime I overspend a bit even for a food. 3. My wife makes around 160.000 a year. I bet no man will submit his salaries to a woman for blessings; it is improper. It should be done willingly, not by force – Ocholi Okutepa, Submission is a basic biblical concept. He should teach her and order her to forbid the evil and enjoy the good. A husband is well advised not to meddle with his wife’s property, because he does not have any claim to it. A woman has the full rights to her earnings and property. He had lost his job about 6 months ago. A wife cannot discipline her husband because she is not his authority. If that’s the case, like I mentioned earlier, it’s important that both a husband and wife have friends that value your marriage. Same should be applied to her husband’s salary then, so he can keep his salary and do whatever he wants, buy his cloths, or do anything he wants, and DO not give anything to his wife for any of her expense. You should not. Tell me about your financial life with your husband. First, a woman is a helpmate not an apprentice. A woman is not obligated to submit her salary to her husband except in special cases like if the head of the home, who is the man, is going through a hard time providing for the family. But no. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from PUNCH. Answer 2) Wife owns her own salary and she has the right to spend it as she likes, fair enough she earns she spends. But the moment a husband wants to perform his 10 obligations / seek his 4 rights and or want to give a surprise to her and thus seeks salary of his wife all sorts of questions turns into "FORC E" and no better word a wife specifically uses forgetting she also has certain 'duties' in matrimony. I would start by saying ideally this shouldn’t be encouraged as it could easily be abused by men, especially if the husband is irresponsible. If the wife stipulated, at the time of marriage, that her husband allow her to work, then he must allow her to carry on with her work, unless the nature of her work changes and it becomes unlawful, such as if she is working with non-mahram men, or the nature of the work is unlawful, such as working in riba-based banks or insurance companies, and the like. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. google_ad_slot = "5984819487"; Only if the man is going through hard times – Mary Chinweze. While I know Josh isn’t really the complaining type, if he did, I know his friends wouldn’t be cool with it and they would try to encourage him and pray for our marriage. I was into it. Admiration is the fuel a man needs to get going. Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Self and money are separate. That the husband should be a reason for his wife to be saved from the hellfire. If she does give anything at all, even if it is a small amount, then that would be considered sadaqah. A salary of AED 4,000 AED or AED 3,000 given that the accommodation is provided. Right to residence – A wife has the right to reside in the matrimonial household where her husband resides, irrespective of whether it is an ancestral house, a joint family house, a self-acquired house or a rented house. Placing a wife on salary would enable her to meet some personal needs or basic needs in … Husband demands share from wife’s salary Question If a woman works and earns a salary, is it permissible for her husband to demand the money? No man should seek to collect the wages of his wife’s labour and vice verse. Therefore, as I voluntarily submit to my husband, I am completing him. The issue is, submission is not palatable but it is what the woman is commanded to do, according to the scripture. I believe the man is the head of the house but my salary is mine. /* Punch_Sidebar_Articlepages300x250 */ google_ad_client = "ca-pub-5689805440782123"; That the man should have some type of jealousy for his wife. I encourage both you and your husband to complete Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life to help you both understand the spirit and the law behind marriage in Islam. But, last year, when Desai was asked by his tax consultant whether he pays salary to his wife and children, he was at a loss for words. Marriage relation is one of the most sacred knot in human relation. The truth is, the Bible says the man is the head of the home, but then it also says anyone who cannot fend for his family is worse than an infidel, so being the head means he should live up to that responsibility. That the man should have some type of jealousy for his wife. The ownership rights to streedhan belong to the wife, even if it is placed in the custody of her husband or her in-laws. Let us remember that the woman did not fall from heaven, she has parents or dependants too. No one receives a salary for being a wife (or a husband) since that is not a job. BHOPAL: In a significant judgement, a division bench of the MP high court has ruled that wife has a right to know the salary of her husband. A lot of times in the house I do things on my own without asking for money; a man doesn’t have any right over a woman’s salary. If she does give anything at all, even if it is a small amount, then that would be considered sadaqah. Matthew 5:28 ESV / 20 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. She works 7 day aweek. A responsible man will work hard to provide for his family and never consider collecting his wife’s salary. He should even give her additional allowances – Samson Funmilayo. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife.… She is capable of working but decided to be a stay at home mom a few years ago. The man is supposed to provide for the family; if he needs me to support, I will. Should a wife give her wages to her husband to manage for the family household? I get oral sex whenever I ask. However, when it comes to a woman submitting her salary to her husband, I do not agree with this. In fact, there’s no justification for doing this and I can’t ever advocate it in anyway. I am helping him fulfill his responsibilities, and I am helping him become the man, the husband… I am staying with friends for now. I do not think it’s reasonable to tender your income to your husband for blessings. BHOPAL: In a significant judgement, a division bench of the MP high court has ruled that wife has a right to know the salary of her husband. But that never works with a man. but it is advice able to say that a wife should give her husband all she have since the Bible verify it that "THE WIFE AND THE HUSBAND … Or should she be content with what the husband chooses to give her Let us examine another example . This of course was due to a mutual agreement between the husband and the wife. I give her 300 a week. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. This doesn’t mean she should not have access to her salary when she wants it. Have your spouse complete all the required new hire forms and payroll authorizations, the same as … 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. First, a woman is a helpmate not an apprentice. Thus, it is very clear that if the husband makes payment of commission or salary, etc. If you decide to put your spouse on the payroll as an employee, you must treat him or her as an employee in every way: Give your spouse a title and an appropriate salary for that title. I put this on here, because it heals me to read and talk about it, but for your readers, please try hard, a man should give his wife 100% and the wife should give her husband 100%. You’ve made positive changes as a man, and you're a better husband than the day your wife left. That the husband should be a reason for his wife to be saved from the hellfire. we say our leaders should not be corrupt and live within their means,fine. I can’t imagine working so hard only to submit my salary to my husband at the end of the month to manage for me to attract some divine blessings. The fact that the wife is drawing a large salary (evincing financial self-sufficiency) may influence the Judge, who may be reluctant to award a high quantum, if any, in maintenance fees to the wife. No man should be interested in his wife’s salaries because she works for her money, the same way the man works for his money. Question: If a woman earns her own income, from an Islamic point of view, is she obligated to give her entire salary to her husband? Its madness if women are asking for equal opportunity and not equal responsibility. Should a wife receive salary from her beloved husband ? She has the right to her money and her salaries, and she is not obliged to give her salaries to her husband. The husband has no… Our sex life has always been great and full of experimentation. In what circumstances does the wife have to provide maintenance for her husband/ex-husband, if any? Does he feel unhappy that his wife is working outside the home? Looking at it from a religious angle, a union between a man and a woman should be a perfect one, on the basis of two becoming one; hence there is nothing wrong if the family has a single ‘purse’ as this would strengthen the love between them. But that never works with a man. Some people are of the belief that women should give their salaries to their husbands to attract divine blessings, and this notion has also been voiced by some clerics. Even if she does that, it is out of love for her husband, and it is not an inalienable right of the man. It gives him power. May Allah reward you for seeking out clarity on this important issue. بسم الله الرحمن الرحیم Answer If a women works, her earnings belong to her. Principles of Marriage … 2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. It doesn’t matter how strong your relationship is, how sure you are that your partner is always there for you, or how perfect your relationship is, you should not give your entire salary to your husband. It is not a bad thing for husbands to pay their housewives salaries. And if you do see her, she gives you the cold shoulder. However if you were too simply time the cumulative hours I spend at my wife's nether lips vs the time she spends with my member in her mouth, then she gets FAR more oral than I do, simply because it usually takes her 10 to 20 minutes to come while it only takes me 3-5 minutes. She has the right to her money and her salaries, and she is not obliged to give her salaries to her husband. It sounds like one of those schemes men who have wives that earn significantly more than them will come up with in order to help their ego. I pray this finds you well. Eggerichs bases the book on Ephesians 5:33, which says, “Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Eggerichs’ premise is that, though every person needs both love and respect, God gave men a special, deep need for respect, and He gave women this same deep need for love. The author of this article is against such bills and gives an explanation as to why should a husband pay a share of his salary to his better half when the wife in India is considered as part and parcel of a husband. A wife should submit her salary to her husband to be used for mutual expenses. She mistakenly assumed that she could manipulate him to give more by withdrawing her appreciation. She brougt a 420.000 house put it in her name only. I have been married for fews years, I don't care what my wife salary is worth nor ask her to give me. If her salaries are given to her husband, how would she will take care of her parents and dependants? It gives him power. It is important for both husband and wife to sit down, assess their financial situation, and come up with solutions from a place of sincere concern. I do not agree with any person who says a wife must submit her salaries to her husband. As a gesture of goodwill, it would be praiseworthy for a working wife to contribute to the finances of her household, but that is up to her. google_ad_height = 250; FOREX , BITCOIN and BINARY TRADER: God knows your husband better than you; ask Him to reveal your husband's heart. My job is to focus on loving her and making submission easier for her, I do not think it is true – Demola Ajimataranreje, I have not found it anywhere in the Bible that a woman must give her monthly income to her husband. And God will bless us men as we hustle and provide for our homes, No blessing is attached to it – Obinna Onwuka. Iake about 450 a week. Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life, Complaining About Spouses to Parents and Managing Marital Finances, Bringing Barakah Into Your Wealth and Life. In many marriages, the husband shares money, but not information regarding his salary, spending or investments. In my eyes she is not working. I counseled a woman who became confused when, after criticizing her husband, he did not try harder to earn appreciation from her. When a husband demands his  wife’s enitre salary, it sounds like there are deeper issues at play. Also, the division of matrimonial assets, especially in circumstances wher… Contribute in house rent or any regular allowance a cross-section of Nigerians they... The hellfire is ther's. have any claim to it – Obinna Onwuka being done it! About my salary, spending or investments the problem is, your wife ca n't see of! ” s is ther's. hers and her husband head of the most sacred knot in human.... 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